Un-Finished Life

How many chapters are there in my book of life?

Every-time I turn the page one chapter ends and seems as though another begins. Was I foolish to think that there could be some good in the world?

 My latest experience in working with the homeless is the answer to that question.

The change I feel inside is not a positive one on the contrary it is one of dread.

Where I gave more of myself in trying to help those that didn’t want help themselves.  Who had accepted their plight and path and succumbed to their despair.

I was amidst people who although still breathing and alive had accepted their fate. They were lost, dead and numb to their feelings and emotion. Their only escape is to wallow in their distress. When I looked into their eyes it was looking into the deep dark void of nothingness where only hopelessness and fear survived. Moving on to new adventures and opportunities, my life will be forever changed by the experience of working with the homeless.

How can one life become so devoid of human attributes that turn them into fading stars.  Their only want was for immediate needs and they held no hopes or dreams for the future. If I changed one life I’d be grateful for the fact: Sadly I will never get to find that out. This new chapter in my life is a new revelation that I can only change myself. I can only save myself. In everyone I came in contact with I feel as though I left pieces of myself behind. A purpose unfulfilled? I don’t have an answer to that question.

The only truth I now realize is that we can only make the world a better place by first starting with ourselves and our circle of love ones and then the rest will have to take care of itself by pouring forth the branches to others to take a hold so they will not be swept under in the quicksand of life. Maybe I had to see with my own eyes the death, hopeless and fear so that I never give up on my hopes and dreams and fight with all my might to keep surviving and to stay ALIVE.

                                                             LM-Akins Simora England

Et Vocem Meam

My voice is my weapon that’s been silenced throughout the years, as my soul stood vigilant on the edge of the cliff waiting to be strung.

My voice is my weapon against all failures and dreams still left undone.

My voice is a statement to my testimony and time.

A true reveal of the person I was meant to be.

 Throughout the storms and pain life has wrought, my voice stands a tribute to all those I’ve left behind: who were left stranded amidst their shadowed torment.

There were too many times when I looked to my left and my right and hollered out in pain as my voice echoed inside of me shattering the very chambers of my heart.

My voice remained choked and suffocated from the numbness within.

Then I realized I was not alone, the voice that spoke inside of me was all my own. It was then that my strength was born.

 Only then did my dreams become a reality and although I was blind, now I was able to see.

With this revelation I began to develop a more improved version on myself and set my soul free.

No more was pain and disappointment my constant friend.

My voice soared me to unknown depths that I could never have dreamed was true.

 I vowed to never to be silenced again, my voice remains my best friend.

Keep this in mind when the sorrow of the world tries to silence your cries.

 Remember your voice is your weapon, used as armor fight.

 The only way to not be a victim is to be a survivor and beyond all odds believe in your voice.

 Although it may talk inside of you as a whisper, when you listen it will bellow from within you and cave in all obstacles that lie ahead of you.

Your voice will set you free.

                                                       LM Akins/ Simora England

Agape Love

We are all searching for a purpose, a reason to exist here in this life. We strive for perfection in our relationships and jobs and grasp on to the tiny hope that these things will last in order to give us the happiness we so yearn. Most of us are unaware that there is an absolute certainty and truth that the happiness that we are looking for has always been inside of us, locked away due to external turbulence and strife made by outside influences and forces.

Why is it so hard to see the good in others?

Why is it so hard to forgive?

Why is it so hard to accept the things we cannot change?

Why is it so hard to live?

 As there are many dimensions to this world which go unseen to the human eye and takes on familiar shapes and patterns so are the dimensions of human kind. We all reflect one another like mirrors verging on different paths. It is not only our job and purpose but it is our duty to connect with one another: To accept and try to understand even the most vile and arrogant of mankind, because we are all one. If you hate and refuse to be part of this world, how will you love yourself and find the peace and happiness you are looking for?

 The winds, sea, fire and earth even animals all exist and compliment each other regardless of their flaws. Why then can’t we accept and live with each other in peace and harmony?

 If everyone could realize that our homes, our jobs, our relationships, all the material things that we have coveted till our dying breathe is only temporary because we are all homeless here on this earth. We are here to serve a purpose that is to serve and aide our neighbor.

I am not perfect, I have made many mistakes and held many regrets however, the mistakes and regrets I have made has made me the person I am today. I have not only learned to forgive others but also have learned to forgive myself and move on. 

Every step that I have made has brought me here to connecting with you all. Every regret has been a needed sacrifice in order to achieve my purpose. When this journey of life ends and I/we are released to the elements of time and space; we will be part of the wind sky and sea but most importantly we will be apart of one another. Even though we age and our bodies take adult form our minds are not still fully developed and every disappointment every hurt and pain we all learn from and grow so that we can reach our full potential of serendipity and peace called unconditional love for all mankind.

                                                          LM/Akins- Simora England

        

Portal Of Humanity

I stand in a cold sweat, saturated with the damp fog of my very existence. Confused and bewildered I wait patiently as the cup of enlightenment quenches my thirst. All I can hear is the pounding of my heart, which echoes from within my inner chambers and drowns out the loud screeching thoughts in my mind. My eyes search for the open portal that leads to man’s humanity, however, as I come closer to inspect, I see that it is sealed with a thick dark paste of violence and malice. Realizing that I must find another way, I do not turn backwards but tread forwards to find a path free from the insolence of this world. My cup is once again full as I journey on.

                                                                     LM Akins / Simora England

Freedom Of Mind

We see with our soul and touch with our hearts and we believe the impossible to be possible.  As we each wander this earth looking for our way, we try to accept what we cannot control and surrender to the powers of our own will. We convince ourselves to testify to our own truths thereby we are deceived by nothing else but the trickery of our own minds.  Only when we accept the reality, which surrounds us, however bleak, and dismal it may seem: will we come to a realization of acceptance not only within ourselves but also in the way we see the world around us. Ultimately we will begin to inhale the sweet fragrance of freedom and hear the truth. Only then will healing begin.

                                                           LM Akins/ Simora England

Beacon Of Light

Beneath the shattered shards of glass that lay under and around my feet, I am still able to stand on my tippy-toes and glance at my dreams, which are laid out across the skies.

   We are all shaken and disturbed when our dreams seems to distant to reach and reality makes us want to escape into fantasy because we look at the chaos of this world around us and build a safe house in our minds for protection.

I’m here to tell you that it’s safe to come out of our prisons in our mind and embrace the light that shines from within us, so much so that it infects everyone and everything that surrounds us.

We cannot succumb to the treachery and evil of this world, but instead prove ourselves to be examples of goodness with a common purpose of expunging all negativity; our light will be a constant beacon to all those stuck stagnant in the darkness.

                                                  LM Akins/ Simora England

Pushing Forward

When I think of all the mirrored pathways I’ve tread through this life my heart is filled with irradiant joy in knowing I have connected and contributed to the betterment of others despite my fractured psyche.  My doubts and fears of the future are substituted for hope and faith in realizing that the best is yet to come.  I hold my staff made out of fortitude and endurance to propel me forward on toward my path, which ends in enlightenment.

                                      LM Akins/Simora England

The Door Of Opportunity

I’ve stepped outside of my comfort zone and looked beneath the crack of the open door, what I saw was many possibilities and opportunities, which are in store. 

Though my limbs are burning and my body aches with fatigued I am driven by an invisible force to succeed. 

I place in my head a seed for my thoughts: A seed, which lets me know that nothing, is or ever will be out of my reach. 

My potential and endurance will continue to thrive strong even when life brings me the worst of storms. 

God will always restore all things that get ruined in life’s bitter war as long as we are willing to step through have faith to see what lies for us outside the crack in the door.

                                                         LM Akins/ Simora England