How many chapters are there in my book of life?
Every-time I turn the page one chapter ends and seems as
though another begins. Was I foolish to think that there could be some good in
the world?
My latest
experience in working with the homeless is the answer to that question.
The change I feel inside is not a positive one on the
contrary it is one of dread.
Where I gave more of myself in trying to help those that
didn’t want help themselves. Who had accepted
their plight and path and succumbed to their despair.
I was amidst people who although still breathing and alive had
accepted their fate. They were lost, dead and numb to their feelings and
emotion. Their only escape is to wallow in their distress. When I looked into
their eyes it was looking into the deep dark void of nothingness where only
hopelessness and fear survived. Moving on to new adventures and opportunities,
my life will be forever changed by the experience of working with the homeless.
How can one life become so devoid of human attributes that
turn them into fading stars. Their
only want was for immediate needs and they held no hopes or dreams for the
future. If I changed one life I’d be grateful for the fact: Sadly I will never
get to find that out. This new chapter in my life is a new revelation that I
can only change myself. I can only save myself. In everyone I came in contact
with I feel as though I left pieces of myself behind. A purpose unfulfilled? I
don’t have an answer to that question.
The only truth I now realize is that we can only make the
world a better place by first starting with ourselves and our circle of love
ones and then the rest will have to take care of itself by pouring forth the
branches to others to take a hold so they will not be swept under in the
quicksand of life. Maybe I had to see with my own eyes the death, hopeless and
fear so that I never give up on my hopes and dreams and fight with all my might
to keep surviving and to stay ALIVE.
LM-Akins Simora England
